Are We Arguing the Wrong Point?

President Obama drew a line in the sand the other day by siding with same-sex marriages.

Over the weekend, Mitt Romney declared during a graduation speech that marriage between one man and one woman is an enduring institution that should be defended.

Last week North Carolina became the 30th state to pass a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriages.

Several ministers I know believe the issue of same-sex marriage will be the defining issue among evangelical churches.

Between now and November the debate and the rhetoric will intensify.

However, it is my opinion that most evangelicals are arguing the wrong point.

Any argument against same-sex marriages that begins with…

  • Old Testament passages where we pick and choose which laws to enforce and which laws to ignore…
  • idiotic and worn out sayings like, “God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve”…
  • New Testament passages that might have more to do with temple prostitution and pedophilia then committed, monogamous same-sex relationships…
  • the detriment same-sex marriages will have on society and how homosexuality is what brought down the Roman Empire…
  • “God hates fags”

…will be a losing argument.

Please read that list again. With the exception of the last one (which is never appropriate), those arguments do play a part in the same-sex marriage debate, but they should not be the beginning part and they are not the main part.

From a conservative, evangelical, Christian world-view, the point that needs to be argued is this:

“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral” (Hebrews 13:4).

According to the writer of Hebrews, marriage is something to be valued and highly prized (“honored”) and the sexual relationship in marriage is to be pure and “undefiled” (KJV). The writer then describes what type of sexual activity violates and defiles the “marriage bed” by using two words that are translated “adulterer” and “sexually immoral.” An “adulterer” (Gr. moichos) is a married person who engages in sexual activity outside the marriage commitment. The Greek word translated “sexually immoral” is where we get our English word “pornography” (Gr. pornos) and is a general term referring to any type of sexual activity (heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual; intercourse, oral sex, anal sex, masturbation, lusts, etc…) outside of marriage.

The point that needs to be argued is not same-sex marriage or homosexuality verses heterosexuality. The point to be argued is immorality, why God reserves sex for marriage only, and what the biblical idea of marriage illustrates.

The argument takes shape by asking and answering the following questions:

What is the purpose of sex and sexuality?

Why should marriage be honored and the sex bed kept pure?

What does sex have to do with my relationship with God?

These are the questions that have to be answered from a biblical perspective; and the answers to those questions is where the debate should begin.

My intention is to answer those questions in a few follow-up posts. I believe these posts are so important that I am placing them on this blog ( and my other blog,

About Pastor Kevin

I am a husband, father, pastor, teacher, scuba diver, reader, bike rider, that order.
This entry was posted in Same-Sex Marriage and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Are We Arguing the Wrong Point?

  1. Kevin — I think you are definitely on the right track here! While some of these other issues may play a part in a Biblical discussion of homosexuality, when discussing the definition of marriage, the passage you point to, Hebrews 13:4, is absolutely indispensable. I would also suggest that the basis of Jesus’ argument regarding God’s intention for Marriage in Mark 10:6-9 is essential. Very good post. Blessings.

    J. Dale Weaver

    • revkev43 says:

      Thanks Dale,

      I am working on a couple other posts that highlight the purpose of marriage and why God reserved sex for marriage only and how that relates to our relationship with Christ.

  2. Len Scott says:

    Spot on! Let me throw in Ephesians 5:25ff where Paul shows marriage to be a living symbol of the relationship between Jesus and the church. We need to start with God’s intention for marriage and move from there. Anything outside of His definition is sin.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s